We – and by ‘we’ I mean men – are so screwed.
It turns out women can see more shades of red than men…we [men] are so screwed. If like me you’re wondering why that is at first, then take a moment to let it sink in. What happens when we tell a lie, feel embarrassed, anxious, [have a drink] or just plain scared? Our heart rate increases, blood rushes to our face and we blush, our faces turn red. If you haven’t made the connection between blushing and women’s ability to see more shades of red yet — it took me a while too — then consider this. Ever wondered how the [p®*√€®bi@!] your girlfriend or wife knew that you weren’t telling the truth or hiding something? Well now you know – it’s painted all over our faces(!) Yes, exactly, we are so screwed. And whilst some men can lie with a straight face our fairer sex has the ability to sense even the faintest change in hue so you just end up with a red, straight face which makes you look super guilty [slow clap].
And to add injury to insult our fairer sex wear make-up a lot of the time hiding their physiological ‘tell’ which means we’re flummoxed even further – well played ladies, well played.
“I’m still baffled by the level of detail and accuracy my wife can recall…”
To make matters even worse for us men, it would seem that we have a very short memory compared to the ladies in our lives who seem to have a very good long term memory. I’m still flabbergasted at the level of detail and accuracy my wife can recall from an argument we had – and I lost, usually catastrophically badly – in 2008. Whilst my wife can dig into her vast historical library of ‘dirt’ on me, I struggle to recall what shirt I wore yesterday — perhaps, again, it has something to do with the different roles men and women played as we evolved as mentioned in blog entry #001? Anyway.
I remember reading about a study — which I’m probably going to butcher like a drunk guy singing “Oops I did it again!” at a karaoke bar — where couples were asked to walk down a beach together. If I recall correctly the examiners would send attractive girls in bikinis walking in the opposite direction to lure the men, who were walking alongside with their girlfriends, into effectively gawking at the scantly dressed ladies – all in the name of science – putting them [the men] in mortal danger. After a few hours the (surviving) men and their girlfriends were quizzed individually regarding their recall of the girls they saw on the beach. The men could barely recall any of the girls with noticeable accuracy, whereas for the girlfriends of those men could recall detailed descriptions of the girls, some even weeks later(!)
So to recap, we [men] are so screwed, and the moral of that’ story is that we should not lie or hide anything…which is hard because ‘hiding something’ and just plain ‘forgetting about it’ is a very fine and precarious distinction. [Hands up if you agree we need ‘Hubby body-cams’]
But there is an upside to this, well as a parent. Whilst dads play a huge and important role in the wellbeing of a family, a mother’s superpowers are crucial when it comes to figuring out what and how our children are feeling. There are countless instances in our household where I would have the kids for an entire day when my wife would walk through the door with her first words being, “What’s wrong with our eldest?” and me replying “Nothing, he’s fine…” when, to a serious blow to my ego as a parent, it turned out the kid was feeling poorly or had an incident at school. And as for the parenting advantages of a freakish long term memory, well that speaks for itself – sorry kids, we’re in the same boat.
“…keeping a [healthy] family together is more than important, it’s imperative!”
This combination of unique abilities between the sexes has taught me one thing, that keeping a [healthy] family together is more than important, it’s imperative! Not saying that single parents can’t do a great job, there are many who do a phenomenal job, but let’s be honest – and avoid any shade of red – when it comes to kids, we [us parents] need to stick together because we do not want to be outnumbered; we need all the help we can get.
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